After giving a keynote speech tonight an audience member waited to ask me about executive coaching. He was wondering how it could help him or the others in his company. He told me he had invested years of time and money with personal coaches, life coaching programs, self-improvement seminars and listening to motivational speakers. He believed this is why he was reaching his business goals and was able to make the kind of money he wanted and to take his value on great vacations and to buy a house at the beach. Yet he told me, “I don’t feel happy.” I quickly remembered one of my favorite quotes from Albert Einstein and shared it with him.
I told him my own beliefs and my life experience of constantly spending money on personal development for over 30 years trying to achieve more and more goals. I shared how I got promotions and achieved titles and acquired more and more objects. And then, I realized that projects, people, relationships, money, my business, my family and everything in my life – including me – was suffering because I didn’t realize that the real goal wasn’t tied to any of these. The real goal had nothing to do with people, titles or objects.
My Own Personal Coaching Realization
As a professional in business and as an executive in corporate America I didn’t understand why I wasn’t happy having achieved financial independence and being a CEO. I achieved all the people, career, financial and material goals I knew of. Then it actually hit me when I became a coach myself. I was coaching executives and all of the sudden I realized that I was actually helping professionals and executives eliminate the root causes of their stresses and conflict even though I was calling myself an executive coach. Let’s face it every human being is walking around with their own self-defeating thoughts, behaviors, and feeeeeeelings that keep them stuck in old, unproductive patterns. And that is the person who shows up at work thinking their goal is to achieve objects and please people.
I believe what the real purpose of any type of coaching is helping people make powerful internal shifts — for inner peace, personal power and freedom — so they can be more effective, powerful, and influential to successfully achieve the real important goal of living their lives and doing their businesses with greater ease, flow, peace and joy in each and every moment. When I discovered that I could be and feeeeeeeeeel the best I could be in every moment of my life and that I actually had the choice of how I intended to feeeeeeeeeeel in each moment of my life I was able to let go and to be free of all the goals that were meaningless.
Now I have only one goal. That’s right only one goal. Before I tell you my goal let me tell you what I had to release and let go off before I could understand this principle and why I could so easily answer the question that came from my audience member.
The Brain Is A Dangerous Object
When I received coaching and went through coach training and my training in clinical psychology I had this realization that the only thing I had to let go of in order to be free was to let go of my thoughts. Why? My brain would constantly interfere with what I really wanted. I would be focusing and feeeeeeeling great about my personal, professional, health, spiritual, relationship, business and financial desires and then my brain would quickly create stress, conflict, or remind me of challenges that “could be” or upsetting circumstances that had been.
That darn brain of mine would bring up fears so that the freedom I was seeking would sabotage my success. It would cut off my joy and interrupt my balance. So I remember thinking to myself, “this goal attainment doesn’t make me happy”. Just like the man from the audience said to me.
I also knew that once I understood that the only reason it didn’t make me happy was because there was a root cause, a personal block that stood in the way of my happiness. It’s there for everyone. We just can’t see it. Each of us is unique in our childhood experiences, perceptions, beliefs and interpretations. Every one of us has hidden causes at our core is stopping our absolute freedom and happiness. These emotions act as energetic interruptions we may not even be aware of. They may affect our health, finances, self-esteem, relationships and success.
I remember when I discovered that I was sabotaging myself without even realizing it I was shocked. Yet it was clear that my brain was constantly saying, “I’m not good enough… I’m not smart enough… I’m not deserving enough… I’m not pretty enough…I’m not lovable enough…I’m not perfect enough…I’m a fraud…” and on and on and on. It just could not stop chattering away at me. I had no idea it had been telling me all of these things for years and years. Even though I have a PhD and am making a great living serving people and writing best selling books and have a loving and wonderful partner – it told me lies! And these self-limiting beliefs kept me from fully enjoying the journey.
Struggle would show up all the time. I was achieving goals yet true happiness wasn’t there and absolute freedom and peace weren’t there.
Magnetizing Lifted Me Up!
During one of the darkest moments of my life when I was suffering with a lot of burning pain throughout my body I sat alone in my bed contemplating suicide. I, Terri Levine, one of the most positive people got to the point where the pain was unbearable and it was decision time. No one was home and this was my opportunity. I suddenly realized that for the 18 months that I had been suffering from pain all I was focused on, all I talked about, all I thought about, all my brain chattered about was pain. I knew that I was not providing my brain with any thoughts that were uplifting. I realized that it was up to me to focus on what I wanted and to choose how to feeeeeeeeeel in each moment. I could consistently choose better-feeling thoughts to raise my vibration and create and attract the health and pain free body and life I desired or I could continue on with self-limiting beliefs and this pattern of destruction I had gotten into or I could end my life.
I decided in that moment to free myself – to take back my own personal power and to create my own joy. I knew I had to unlock and unleash it in that instant. I had my laptop on the bed and starting typing frantically. I began releasing all my negative thoughts and breaking free of the internal barriers trapping my body in pain and fire. I kept visioning and feeeeeeeling my unlimited potential to have my body healthy and vibrant and to be out of a wheelchair and up and walking freely. I wanted my quality of life back and my relationship with my husband and family and friends. I wanted to be with my clients again and speaking and writing again (oddly enough I didn’t even realize I was writing a book in that moment!). I was letting go of all my own negative feeeeeeelings and self-limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging behaviors.
I started feeeeeeeling free as I was typing faster and faster. I noticed I was gaining the vision of health of rapid and permanent improvement. I was seeing my unlimited potential. I was shocked that in the space of a few brief moments I had gone from seriously ready to take my own life to suddenly realizing that I could quickly magnetize ease, clarity, healthy, joy, freedom and I was creating momentum to move all obstacles from achieving my real goal – living life fully in the moment – each and every moment – choosing how I wanted it to be.
Coaching Is Powerful
You will find all forms of coaching to be purposeful and productive. To me all coaching IS personal. It’s all about YOU and the life you want to live. It doesn’t matter if it’s coaching about your job or business. It’s always about your blocks, your energetic patterns that you aren’t even aware of that are in the way of your happiness. You simply can’t experience true deep freedom and joy until you have let go of all the blocks you don’t even know are running you.
You do have the power to create anything you want in your life. You can actually have what you want in each moment because YOU get to choose how to feeeeeeel in each moment. It’s all about choosing your feelings and figuring out what is blocking you. And when you do… oh, and when you do… you will be magnetizing all you desire and all you deserve in each and every moment of your life. And I believe this is what the Creator put us on the planet for.