Sometimes in our darkest days, we start seeing a pattern in our life that we don’t really want to be in. You ask yourself, “How am I going to get out of this?” Life coach Valerie Herald is all too familiar with that feeling. She realized that she had been looking outside of herself to others to tell her how to live and what to do, and that wasn’t working. She started to claim herself and started to live for herself instead of other people. Valerie talks about why people are not being authentic and shares a tip or two to help make us stronger to take ownership of our own life that will allow us to be authentic and be our true self.
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Be Authentic: It’s Time To Be You with Valerie Herald
I have a special guest with me and I’m excited to bring her on. Her name is Valerie Herald. Valerie helps those who feel they don’t fit in and who are craving to be their crazy, fun, and authentic self. I’m excited about this because I used to live in that way, not being authentic. Her process says it’s the only guaranteed way to live life on your own terms. I’ve got the expert here. She not only has a process, she guarantees the process. She’s been there, done that, and she developed a message using energy and soul coaching. She focuses on teaching you actionable steps and demonstrate how you can apply those to your life and that’s what we want here. No matter what they say, what you see, or what you hear, it’s time to be the crazy, fun and authentic you. I love all of that and I’ve been crazy fun, authentic me for a few years now, so thank you. Welcome to the show.
Thank you for having me.
Let’s start out with your story of what was going on for you and how did you make the shift for yourself?
It’s been a gradual process over the years, different key elements. The most recent was I had a head injury about six and a half years ago and I started seeing a pattern in my life of these moments. You come down to your darkest days and you’re like, ͞What am I going to do? How am I going to get out of this?” The message that I received was that the answer is within. I realized that I had been looking outside of myself to others to tell me how to live, tell me what to do, and that wasn’t working. It’s literally a hit on the head, “This isn’t working anymore.” I started to find a new way. I started to claim myself and started to live for me instead of other people.
What do you think this is? Why are we not being authentic? I don’t know if other people feel with it, but I remember feeling like I wanted to be authentic and I felt like I couldn’t. What’s going on? What’s happening?
Different things. A lot of times, it may be a trauma or an abuse that we’ve had. It puts us in a victim situation where we were powerless at the time. We expected other people to be that power for us. The other thing too is that we tend to live our lives based on the past. What happened to us in the past is dictating how we live now. Most of the time we’re reacting to life instead of creating it. It takes away our living now and being ourselves now.
Another thing too is that growing up in society, we’ve had people telling us all of our lives, “You should be this person. You need to do this.” We take those messages on and internally and we feel like we have to be that. It’s about returning that power back to ourselves and realizing, “The way they’ve told me this should be isn’t the way it actually is.” It’s coming back to that true self, that higher self within us and starting to listen to that because the noise of the world can be so loud and it’s coming back to hearing that tiny voice until we get it stronger within us.Make one small change to create something different. Click To Tweet
Can you give us a tip or two that can make us stronger and allows us to be more authentic and be who we are in there?
I always say that we get signs all the time, whether or not we’re being aligned with who we are and who we’re not. I’m sure many of you can tell right now, there’s one thing that’s been popping onto your radar that when it shows up, you’re like, ͞”This isn’t quite right.” What I want to encourage you to do is to make a one small change to create something different because we have patterns. We’re responding a certain way to a situation the same time every time it shows up. When the situation presents itself,
choose something different. Whether maybe instead of arguing back, you choose not to respond at all. Maybe you find a way to laugh at the situation instead of getting super upset and crying about it or being playful with it and trying to find that different path.
Is there a way that we can tell, ͞”Am I truly being authentic? Is there a way somebody knows that and can sense that?”
The quickest and easiest way to know if you’re not aligned, a lot of times for people, it’s going to show up in the gut. You’re going to feel like there’s a battle going on in there, like twisting around and it’s very uncomfortable. You might even start having digestive problems and even a lot of anxiety in many ways. Usually that’s what I teach first, is tuning into your physical symbols. Let’s say you’re in a situation where somebody is telling you what to do and if you tune in and pay attention to how you’re responding to them, you’re going to know if that in alignment with you or not. Just pay attention to the physical signs.
Sometimes people get signs and they’re not paying attention to them. What was happening for me is I’m like an energy bubble, excited, big personality and I was working in corporate America. Where was I supposed to be in any of that? I was getting stressed. I was gaining weight, I was losing my hair. Every sign was there of not being authentic. When I finally quit years ago, everything changed. I became me. I dressed the way I wanted. I didn’t fit into what somebody said I should wear. Every single thing changed, including my health. If someone wants maybe one tip on something they could do that allows them to express their personality in the true sense of self more, what would you tell them?
Think of that one thing that you’ve always wanted to do, but you’ve been afraid to do, or it’s calling you. It’s been calling you and telling you. Maybe it’s creating a live video or maybe it’s writing an article to The Huffington Post, something that’s been scary to put out there. Maybe it’s even confronting a loved one to create a new relationship. Just do it. Just grab it and go for it and know that there’s a part of you that knows that this is the stuff that you need to take. Trust that you have the knowledge, you have the skills, and you can do it. It’s just that initial step because it’s a new step.
The thing is that I want people to know that you don’t have to choose the right way every single time. There is no right way or wrong way. It’s about choosing a different way, so try it out. See if you like it, if you don’t like it, try something different. It’s not about committing to doing something the same way every single time and finding that perfect way to go.There is no right way or wrong way. It's about choosing a different way, so try it out. Click To Tweet
Any other either quick tips or quick pointers if you have anything else you want to say or advise that I didn’t give you a chance to do?
I want people to pay more attention to taking ownership in your life. I knew I did an exercise for myself for a while where I set an intention every day. The thing about this is that it puts you in a creation situation where you are claiming that you’re going to create this particular thing in your life and then you can take the steps to do it. Whatever it is that you’re wanting to change or that you’re wanting to create in your life, I suggest starting with that particular intention for the day and letting the opportunity show up that you take action on to create that in your life.
One of them might be loving yourself more today than you’ve ever done before. I know we can all use a little more love in our life. Maybe having an intention like that and letting that set the tone for your day.
As you go about your day, you can say, “Is this action creating more love in my life or not? It gives you a little more focus and puts you in more of a creation mode rather than reacting.
I’m glad I asked you that final question. Before we go, how can people get in touch with you if they want to learn more and want to bring out worth their authenticity?
My website is ValerieHerald.com and you can also find me on Facebook, @EnerSoul and you can also email me too at ValerieHerald.com. Feel free to ask me questions if you’re struggling with any particular thing. I will be more than happy to give you some insight and help you walk through that.
Thank you for being here. I appreciate you. We’re looking forward to people getting in touch with you. Everybody, live as a Heartrepreneur from your heart, from authenticity. You’ll be a lot happier when you do.
Thank you for having me.
About Valerie Herald
You want to go a different direction and you’re not quite sure how. You want to be somewhere different from where you are. No one ever taught you that. You learned how to follow directions and how to do what you were told. You haven’t learned how to make a new path. How to be a pioneer of your own life. Where do you even start?
I’ve been having to learn this my whole life. I never really “got” it until I didn’t have a choice but to get it.
As I was down on my knees with my face to the floor, I begged and pleaded for answers. I was miserable. I was in pain. I was isolated. At that moment I realized I had to start living for me. Each step I took had to be my own. Although I was shaky and hesitant, I began a new journey.
Each of us has our own journey. And it helps to build a foundation so we can take each step confidently even when we cannot see where we are headed. During our time together, learn to peel away the layers and silence the noise of the world around you so you can hear that soft voice that is with you always. Realize what you’ve known all along. Awaken these parts of you that have been quiet for so long. Free yourself from the cage you have been in.
Build your foundation and discover the tools to continue on your journey long after our work is done. Put the pieces together. Sift out what does not belong. Start living as YOU. Fully, unapologetically YOU.
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