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The Roadmap To Taking Control Of Your Life with Mary Shores
My guest is Mary Shores. She had a rollercoaster life that began when she was abandoned at a young age and tragically losing her first child. Mary was able to overcome life’s hurdles and turn tragedy into triumph by building an eight-figure business at age 24. Mary says she’s not a life coach. She’s a businesswoman who discovered a roadmap of how to get control of your life. Mary, welcome to Heartrepreneur Radio.
Terri, I’m so excited to be here.
I’m excited by you because sometimes people transparently share their background and sometimes they don’t, but you put it right out there. Without going into a lot of details, is there anything else that the audience should know about this rollercoaster life?
I had a lot of trauma in my background. I’ve gone through things like the death of my child. I went through a very scary two-year divorce that left me almost catatonic. Through all those things, and this is the important part, is the ability to bounce back and still land up on your feet and thrive and be resilient.
How does one do that? I’m sure that many readers have challenges, some have bigger challenges or perceive them as bigger and more important or more significant than others may perceive them. Every challenge is dependent on how we view it and perceive it. How did you overcome life’s hurdles? How did you even get yourself up and moving in life?True transformation happens in very small pivots over a longer period of time. Click To Tweet
There are no simple answers to something like that. When someone has suffered trauma, it’s not necessarily about the thing that happened to them in the past, whether that was a traumatic event or something that was very violent, but trauma is about the way that it shows up in your present-day reality. What I was always very mindful of is keeping my day-to-day choices straight and moving in the direction that I wanted to go, but that still doesn’t mean that I was free and clear from all this trauma. Looking for a transformation in your life, one of the things that I talk about a lot is being awakened workshop warrior, always looking for that instant transformation. What I learned by all that seeking, which I’m still a seeker to this day, is that true transformation happens in very small pivots over a longer period of time.
I relate and resonate with that because I do think sometimes I look at where I am and I’m like, “How did I get here?” It was those baby steps, and all of a sudden, it’s like, “Look at where I am.” I don’t know many people who have created an eight-figure business and who’ve done it at a young age, so I’d love to hear that story.
When I first started my business, I was coming off from the death of my daughter. She had suffered for a year and a half while she was alive with some very severe and significant brain damage. What that looks like is she was blind and deaf. She was unable to suck a bottle. I had spent my time as a twenty-year-old living in and out of the children’s hospital, having zero resources and zero guidance. I would sleep on the emergency room floor. When she passed away, I started to pick up the pieces of my life again, but at this point, comparing myself to my peers who were getting into the young twenties. They were starting to graduate college. They were starting to get these amazing jobs and I felt like a part of that piece had been taken away from me.
I would love to tell you that I started this business from this ultimate place of empowerment, but the truth is that I felt like in order to live the way that I wanted to live and to the standards that I wanted to live to, that I wouldn’t be able to apply for a job without this college education. It was like a fallback that I thought, “I’ll start my own business and then I’ll have a little bit more control over my future.” It was like the same thing we were talking about before with the baby steps. It was one little thing at a time applying for the license and doing all the things that were in front of me that day to do. I did that for a while and now I’ve had this business and I have brought in over $40 million.
Way to go on many levels. First, the resiliency and the bouncing back. I had my eyes closed as I was listening and I’m like, “It’s unimaginable to me to have that kind of a loss and look what you’ve done, look what you’ve created. It’s amazing.” Before we talk about some steps and maybe how to get control of our life, maybe you have a couple of business building tips as we have people who like both.
As far as business building, if you’re an entrepreneur one of the things that I’ve been talking about lately is creating a core four for yourself. It looks very much like as you’re an entrepreneur, you can get pulled in seventeen different directions. One of the things that I do is I write down the most important four aspects of my business that I need to be focused on right now, whether that is revenue, sales, taxes, or hiring. What is most urgent and crucial for my business right now? Then writing those down and making that a core four, which means that all my energy needs to be going through those four aspects of the business. If I’m finding myself working on something that doesn’t match up, then I need to pull a yellow flag or a red flag because I need to stop myself to evaluate, “Am I chasing down a rabbit hole?”Move on by choosing to highlight the most beautiful parts of your story. Click To Tweet
One of the most important things that have built a successful foundation for me and my business is that early on, I documented everything. Gary Vee is always talking about documentation and I could not agree more. Twenty years ago, I would literally document every little keystroke of everything I did. What that allowed me to do was fifteen years later when I wanted to write a book, I was able to step away from my business because I had twenty employees who could follow all of these work instructions that I had built up over the years. Even when I was like a one-woman show, I still documented everything because I knew that there would come a time and a day that I would need to teach someone else how to do that job. For a long time, you feel like you can do everything better than everyone else, but that’s simply a belief and it’s not true. You can train people on how to do these things and eventually, they become better at it than you do. If you’re starting a business, even if it’s small and even if you’re like a one-woman show, just document everything you do.
You’ve given so much great advice. It’s interesting because you’re talking about the core four. I had another interview with someone, they were saying the biggest thing that had distracted them from starting their business was going in every direction. I said, “How many things do you focus on in your business?” He said, “Never more than three to four.” That’s the same with me. When I’ve done five, I find myself distracted. You also talked about documenting everything. I have to say that’s the thing that I did right in business. When I started my very first business, I was 21, 22 and I had no idea about business marketing, sales, nothing whatsoever. For whatever reason, I did document everything, never thinking this was going to be a multimillion-dollar business that I was going to sell.
I was talking to some clients and they were talking about, “Why do I document everything, I’m a solopreneur?” I’m like, “That’s why you do have to document everything.” Let’s say you can’t work or let’s say you want to sell your business or it grows beyond what you believe. If you’ve documented it, it’s smart. The final point that I have to go is sometimes it is hard for us to think other people can do what we think we’re so gifted at. There are people on my team who are much more brilliant at things that I thought I was good at. I’m loving this philosophy. Now, when I introduced you, you said, “I’m not a life coach. I’m a businesswoman who discovered a roadmap of how to get in control of your life.” How did you discover this roadmap? Can you give us a couple of tips?
As an author, a lot of people assume that you do life coachwork and I’m not against life coaching in any way, but I don’t offer any services like that. I am a public speaker, author and entrepreneur. My entrepreneur is very focused on my businesses. The blueprint and the roadmap that I’m offering people is in my book. You don’t need to spend hours of money, time, and all this life coaching with me because I give you these step-by-step processes right in the book. One of my other business tips is writing a one-page action plan. The exact instructions step-by-step for writing this one-page action plan are in the last chapter of my book.
The reason that that’s significant is that when I started my businesses, I never had a business plan. Back in those days, it was crucial. Everyone was like, “You have to have a business plan.” I never had one. I feel in today’s world, having a five-year business plan is not a good idea because the industries change quicker than five years. It’s nice to know where you’re going through, so what I’ve always done is wrote this short, typed, one-page action plans, which I do by starting with the end result and then I reverse engineer the action steps that are going to take to get there. That’s all like one chapter, the final chapter of the book, but everything from how I turned my tragedies into triumphs and how to reframe the stories we tell ourselves.Everything you say or do can either create a connection or drive a disconnection. Click To Tweet
For example, we live through our stories and our stories are very valid, but we want to be careful and understand that the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves become our identities. You can choose to tell your story in a way that highlights the most beautiful part of the story, which is in how you moved on. That’s all chapter two, and I give you a three-step process of how to do that so you can practice it on your own. Then one of my favorite parts of the book is in chapter five, it’s called cleanser clog. It’s going on this idea that in today’s world, we believe that infinite possibilities are available to all of us. On the other hand, we confuse that by thinking that that means good stuff is coming. That’s not always the case. I teach you the simple principle that goes by the idea that everything you say, everything you do, every word that comes out of your mouth, every action you take, every choice you make, in this minute sliced moments of life is either going to create a connection to what you want or it’s going to drive a disconnection. Once you understand that, you can use this quick check in like, “Is this going to cleanse me or is this going to clog me?” It will help you make decisions in the direction of what you want to manifest.
I am loving this, talking about reframing the stories, because it’s all about how you move on. Where can we get the copy of the book? Where and how can we connect with you, Mary?
If you resonated with anything I’ve said, I would love it if you check out Conscious Communications by Mary Shores on Amazon.com. You can read the description and a handful of reviews. You will know right away whether this book is for you or not. As far as connecting with me, my website is MaryShores.com. You’re also invited to join my private Facebook group, which is called Fearless Ambition. I am happy to have you. I interact in there every single day and you can find me on LinkedIn also under the name Mary Shores. I’m happy to connect with anyone on LinkedIn.
This has been a super cool interview for me because we talked about personal things and I know people will relate to. We talked about business building and then at the same time we talked about your book which has so much value. Whether someone has a life coach, doesn’t have a life coach, wants a life coach, I definitely say go pick this up. Conscious Communications is going to resonate with a lot of our readers. Mary, I want to thank you so much for being here at Heartrepreneur Radio.
For our audience, I want to thank you. In fact, I want to thank you big time. We put together a webinar just for you totally free value. You can grab it at GetHotPayingClients.com and you can also join our Heartrepreneur family in our community which is our Facebook group, Heartrepreneurs with Terri Levine.
- Mary Shores
- Conscious Communications
- Mary Shores on Amazon.com
- Fearless Ambition on Facebook
- LinkedIn – Mary Shores
- Heartrepreneurs with Terri Levine
About Mary Shores
Mary’s roller-coaster life began with being abandoned at a young age and tragically losing her first child. But Mary was able to overcome life’s hurdles and turn tragedy to triumph by building an 8 figure business at age 24. Mary is not a life coach; she’s a businesswoman who discovered a road map of how to get in control of your life.