To move forward in life successfully, you have to drop your emotional blocks. This is what Toni Vaughn learned in her own life. Toni is a certified holistic health practitioner, best-selling author, and board-certified life coach. She’s led a pretty mediocre life of failed marriages, different jobs, the whole single mom thing, and moved all around. After doing a lot of studying and researching and implementing the things that she had learned was best for her, she was able to finally propel her life forward and find her purpose. Today, she shares how you, too, can drop your emotional blocks and start moving forward and create a more desirable life.
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Dropping Your Emotional Blocks Like It’s Hot with Toni Vaughn
We have with us international bestseller, Toni Vaughn, Drop It Like It’s Hot. Welcome.
Thank you so much for having me.
Toni, how did you get into this business of dropping your emotional blocks like they’re hot?
I had to if I was going to move forward in my life, but I tell in the book, I’ve led a pretty mediocre life. I had failed marriages. I did the single mom thing and I moved all around. I had all kinds of different jobs, searching, not even realizing I was searching for what I wanted and what my purpose was. After doing a lot of studying and researching, and implementing the things that I had learned what was best for me, I was able to finally propel my life forward and find my purpose. It’s such an amazing feeling that I wanted to share that with other people. There’s no reason to walk around suffering.
Your book has some tips about releasing our emotional blocks without judgment. What are some of the common ones that you feel that you run into a lot?
The biggest one that many of us have, even those of us that feel like we’re pretty evolved is the not good enough, the insecurity. You see other people do things like write a book and have it go bestseller. In your head, you’re always like, “That’s great for them, but I couldn’t do that. I don’t have anything to offer like that. Who am I to think I could do something like that?” It all comes from when we’re kids, depending on who raised you, where you were raised, the culture or religion or whatever it is that you were raised in. If you didn’t have confident parents, which most of us don’t. You didn’t spend your childhood being told that you could do or have whatever you wanted to have, that you were special, that you were loved and had that guidance and support. That’s the biggest one.
Toni, we’re dealing with Heartrepreneurs. These are people making a difference in the world. How do you know you have an emotional block? Does it show up in your business or how do you even know?What you feed grows. Click To Tweet
If there are things that you want and they’re not showing up, if you have this desire to do something and the opportunity presents itself and you don’t go for it. You make up excuses as to why I don’t have time, I don’t have the resources, whatever your reasons are for not taking advantage of that or I’m scared. What if I fail? Those are all blocks. I’m still scared to do things. I still get nervous about doing things. The humiliation of failing for me is nowhere near that humiliation of never trying. I don’t want to take this stuff to my grave.
It’s like that old saying, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
That is so funny you said that. My stepson said that when I was talking to him. I hadn’t heard that before. You said it too. Yeah, absolutely.
We’re in sync here. What is like one step that someone could do to maybe drop a block or what is something that they could do once they notice, “I had an opportunity. I didn’t go for it. What’s next?”
This is on the subject, but a little off the subject. I would have to say the biggest thing that I did that I didn’t even realize at the time how big it was going to be, it was about a few years ago, I turned off any news whatsoever. I wasn’t the person that went home and watched the 6:00 news. My homepage on my computer was the MSN news page that always had news stories up and stuff like that. I completely cut that out. I didn’t realize how much that was affecting me even subconsciously, but that was the biggest jumping-off point for me. When I didn’t have that subliminal messaging of fear and everything like that you get from news, it completely changed how open I was to receive signs or how much easier it was for me to go ahead and jump at the opportunities that presented themselves for, to see the signs when they came and stuff like that.
Even on social media, if somebody that’s on my feed is constantly putting up news stories and negative stuff, I unfollow them. I’m like, “I don’t want that in my reality.” The funny part is that my family that lives out of state will call me sometimes and go, “Is that fire anywhere near you?” I’m like, “What fire?” I don’t ever watch it. It’s funny because sometimes I think to myself that if I don’t know it exists, maybe it doesn’t for me. I’m not existing on that frequency. I’m on a completely different radio station so I can’t hear what’s going on over there because I’m over here. It’s been funny a few times, but that was the biggest thing that I did.
I have been in business for myself for many years. From Sam and Toni, turn off the news. CNN constantly has negative news, but the news is not designed to inform you. It’s designed for amygdala hijacking, getting you into that fight or flight. This is out to get you. There’s lack of attack. Here are the people out to get you. By the way, there are not enough resources.
It’s always about lack and fear. One thing people don’t understand and I wrote about this in the book, is that when people watch the news and there’s some big news story. They go to work or they go to a family function or something and they all start talking about it, what you feed grows. When that energy, collectively, when people start talking about it and the emotions that come with it, goes out into the universe, it creates more things like that. I don’t want to participate in creating more negative things in the world. I just don’t want to talk about it. A lot of people feel like, “Your head is in the sand,” if you’re not watching the news or if you can’t join a conversation where that’s the topic. I feel like that is so untrue. My head is not in the sand. My head is on things that matter. Perpetuating more negativity to me that’s not on my list of things to do.
Toni, once you get your head out of the news, there are many people that have better things to discuss and like that saying, “Small minds talk about people, medium-sized minds talk about events and great minds talk about ideas.” Let’s talk about moving forward. You turn off the news. What else did you do that you saw a big shift? The news got me out of the anxious mode like, “This is going wrong and that’s going wrong.”
Before I stopped, I became aware of how much I was judging other people. I had to sit back and think about why am I doing it? Am I doing that because it makes me feel better about me if I’m not doing what they’re doing? I noticed how much I was judging other people and myself. I observed it for a short period of time and realized when I started observing it, how often I was doing it and started to think differently. It’s the difference between being in traffic or being on the sidewalk, watching the traffic go by, you can observe. About a month ago, I was driving home and there was a guy walking down the street and he was definitely in. He was a masculine dude, had a beard, mustaches and everything. He had on a pair of boots and what looked like a kilt but more of a skirt. He had this whole look thing going on. I drove by and I looked. I smiled and I thought, “Good for you.” Where ten years ago, twenty years ago, I would’ve been like, “What in the heck?” Now, I just smile and go, “How great it is that people can express themselves?” Because it doesn’t matter to me. Him dressing that way doesn’t affect me in any way. Why would I place judgment on that?
Your own judgment would have affected you.
We don’t think so, but it does. We don’t realize it, but it does. The art of allowing, there’s nobody out there that can take anything away from me. I know that the only one who can do that is me. The world is full of abundance. There’s no reason to be jealous of somebody else or to be hating on somebody else because they’ve got something you don’t have. The moment we can start being happy for other people, for their achievements is when our turn is coming.When you let go of the blocks, it changes your view. When you change your view, you change everything. Click To Tweet
There is that thing about always looking at where you rank with the neighbors or the business or your social club. The problem is when you start doing these comparison games, we always end up losing. It’s better to be happy for whatever everyone else has because you have no idea what price they paid for it. A lot of times when we see what they had to do to get it, you’re like, “I would’ve never done that.”
The other thing that I tried to point out in the book too is that these are all things that I’m talking about once we are into adulthood and stuff like that. What we don’t realize is all of these little things we collected in that basket on our heads when we’re kids about not being good enough, those kinds of things create a filter through which we see the world. If you’re taught that the world is a distrustful place, you’re going to create situations too. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your vision is skewed. You can’t see. That’s like looking through a dirty windshield and being confused why you can’t get where you’re trying to get to, but you can’t see. When you let go with those blocks, it changes your view. When you change your view, you change everything.
Toni, how do people find you?
We’ve had Toni Vaughn. She told you to turn off the news and to stop doing all that judgment. Toni, what is one last thought you’d like to leave our audience with?
The answers to the problems that you’re experiencing are so much easier than you think. People think that it’s in direct proportion to the problem and it’s not. The answers are so much easier than you think.
Working on the solution is always easier than thinking about the solution. Thank you so much for being on the show. Join us on Facebook at #Heartrepreneurs with Terri Levine and find more like-minded individuals and more information about Toni.
- Drop It Like It’s Hot
- Toni Vaughn
- #Heartrepreneurs with Terri Levine – Facebook group
About Toni Vaughn
Toni Vaughn is a certified Holistic Health Practitioner, Bestselling Author and a Board Certified Life Coach. Just like many others, she has led a rather uneventful life. She floated along from state to state, from job to job, raising kids and maneuvering through less than healthy marriages before figuring out her life’s purpose.
She understands the path to mediocrity and personal stagnation because she’s been there. She understands how emotional blocks are created, how they create our current perception of ourselves and the world around us and how to begin breaking them down in order to create new perceptions and a new, more desirable life.
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