Welcome again to Heartrepreneur Radio and this Terri Levine and thank you so much for tuning back in again. I’m so glad to be with you once again. I have somebody really special here today. We are going to talk about some topics that we haven’t talked about here at Heartrepreneur Radio.
My special guest today is Tameka Anderson. She is an author, she is a court-appointed special advocate for you and foster care, specialty foster parent and she also sits on the Governor’s Board of Children and Family Services Task Force team. She’s a kid coach known as child whisperer and self-confidence mentor for professional moms and she has coached moms for years to build confidence, boost performance and to increase happiness in their children. She’s born and raised in Chicago, Illinois. I used to live outside of Chicago many moons ago. She now resides in Atlanta, Georgia. She has 3 biological children, 21, 17 and 7, bet that keeps her busy and foster child aged 7. And she also started Create-A-Kids Club and that’s where she teaches children how to boost confidence to be the best versions of themselves so they excel in school and life. And her why is because she was a foster child and no one thought enough to teach her how to be confident in who she was. Think about that. So she struggled alot in school and in life and she really didn’t have to if she had only had the skills to believe in herself.
Terri: So Tameka, goodness gracious welcome girl?
Tameka: Thank you so much for having me.
Terri: I’m excited to have you. You know I find your background interesting and I can certainly see how it led you to where you are. Let’s talk about why do moms really need help in learning how to boost confidence and happiness in their kids? Shouldn’t that just be natural and moms just do that?
Tameka: What I’ve learned over the years of working with children and moms is it is just something that is not on the top of your brain. Dealing with life and issues and bosses, especially if you have crazy ones, and just the day-to-day everything. That’s just not something that you even think about even though it is very very important so. I don’t hold it against them.
Terri: I love that. I love that. And how do these moms raise their hands and show up and say to you, hey I need to understand that self-confidence and building confidence in my kids and helping my kids. How do moms even know that they need help and if they do need help how do they find you?
Tameka: It’s so funny because I totally understand what the power of word of mouth gets you. Because really that’s what happenend with me. What happened was once I really found out this was the secret so to speak, I started going to different places where there were kids..I went into daycare centers, schools, after school programs, community centers, you name it. Wherever kids were, I was there. So I began to just educate the parents and ask them questions like well does your child do this? Do you struggle with that? And they are just yea heck yea how did you know? So I just dropped the little clues and hints if that is going on then this is the thing. And then what happened is people start telling their friends, their friends told their friends, the rest is history.
Terri: I was going to say that’s how it goes from there. That’s a really beautiful and transparent way to build a business. I’m going to celebrate and honor you for that. That’s what being a heartrepreneur is about. So you started Create-A-Kids Club. So tell us about that. I just want to say as I was learning a little bit about you it just was fascinating to me and I thought this is so important that I want people to know about Create-A-Kids Club. I think this is something that we need to be aware of and alerted to because I as a kid, I come off very confident as an adult, as a kid I was super introverted, I know people find that hard to believe. I was very very shy and I didn’t have confidence in myself and I didn’t like school, I didn’t pay attention in school, I’m a talker, and the truth is that when I developed the inner game and inner confidence in life which was later in life, then everything became magical and I always wondered what would that have been like if it was there in me as a child. So please talk about Create-A-Kid.
Tameka: Absolutely. So the reason why it’s named Create-A-Kids club because that’s exactly what the children do. The curriculum that was designed is specifically to bring out the inner what we like to call the goldmine that is in each child. So they create their entire story. What we do is we create little stage play productions for the youth to perform for their parents. Because one of the things that I’ve learned is that once I started getting on stage and getting in front of people and really started just being who I was, I became more confident and my voice became stronger and my stance was taller. People actually think I’m taller than I actually am. And I think it’s because of confidence. You know what I’m saying. I begin to just really immerse these children in getting on the stage. Like they are thrown on the stage day one.
Tameka: And parents are like are you serious? I’ll never forget one of our students and I think she was about 10 years old and her mom brought her and said oh she’s extremely shy. I was like don’t worry about it. Long story short, we have an end of the year party where we have the red carpet, they do a production and everything. She was the star of the show. She was owning the stage. Her grandmother was just like are your serious? So it’s all about the child bringing out their self-expression. They create the story, the props, everything. All I do is sit there and say yeah great job!
Terri: Wow! That is awesome. That is amazing! And obviously the name says it completely then. It’s beautiful. I was just laughing Tameka. You said about taller. So I’m very short I’ll say the word short. I’m ok with it. I’m 5’1″ but alot of my clients that have talked to me on the phone for years or have seen me on webinars and we haven’t met in person till they come to an event and the first thing they say is you sound alot taller on the phone. And they always laugh about that and as you were talking I thought hmmm I wonder if it because I do sound confident. I just was wondering that. It’s really interesting.
Tameka: Yea, it is.
Terri: You are making me think. So what do you think is the number one thing that we can be doing as a society to really boost confidence in our kids every single day? What should moms, dads, aunts, uncles, teachers, everyone on the planet know to do when they are amongst young people?
Tameka: So there is a 3 part formula that I tell parents to use that would help to boost their confidence.
1)Engage, engaging with your child helps to boost their self-confidence.
2)Empower them. When you empower them you show them that the power is already in you. You don’t have to seek it from someone else. That helps to boost their confidence.
3)Set expectations for your child. I can’t tell you how important that is for parents to set that expectation. Set the bar for your child and then once you add all those 3 together, then your child will excel.
The funny story is my oldest child is 21. She tells her friend all the time. Oh my God, I’ll never forget when I was younger I brought home all As and my mom was like you set the bar. Therefore, that’s all I want to see is A’s. But I let them set the expectation. I set the expectation to say listen, you did this. You showed me that you can do it so that’s what I want to see. So when you add all those together then you will be able to create confidence in your child that comes. They become top performers in everything they do and they are just superstar kids.
Terri: That is is great and I like the formula and I want the listeners to really pay attention. So it was engage, empower, set expectations. I really like that and as you are talking again I’m thinking about myself. There’s 2 things that show up for me so we will have you respond to these. One was when I was age 5 I was asked to be the speaker at a brand new school that was opening, a huge school in New York where I lived at the time that went from kindergarten through 12th grade. It was a massive school. and somehow they went around to 5th grade classrooms. I was a young first grader. And they came into my classroom and I don’t know my mom dressed me right that day and they said we’ll pick this kid. And I have no idea what I’m being chosen for. And don’t forget I’m introverted right? They told me what to say and I was going to go on stage in front of at the time 1500 people and I remember right before I went on stage I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t nervous, it didn’t seem like any big deal. And the guy who was walking me on stage said “just go out there and have fun.” And I always remember that. And so I went out there. I never got nervous. I never got butterflies and I have been speaking on stages ever since. I’m glad that someone that empowered me and set up the right expectations. And then I’ll have you respond to both of these.
And the second one is my dad was so supportive of every decision I made in my life. Everything. You can do it. You can do that. I’m going to take this higher class and I don’t know if I’m going to succeed. Yes you are. You can do it. You are going to do it. I want to go to Ithaca College. I don’t want to go anywhere else. The only place I want to apply is — you are going to get in. Every single think he was so inspirational and really helped in my confidence. So any responses to my 2 quick stories.
Tameka: I love it because that’s exactly right. That’s exactly what they are supposed to do. They covered all the bases. They engaged with you. They empowered you. They set the expectations and you excelled. So kudos.
Terri: Well thank you. I wish my dad was alive to hear that but I know he did. So thank you. Thank you. As listeners might be led to believe this is not a real business topic and I’m going to say this is a real business topic. This is a serious business topic because our young are our future entrepreneurs and your kids can be working in your business. By the way it’s a smart tax deduction to have them do it. So why not start early Why not make sure that we are empowering our young people. Can you talk to that Tameka?
Tameka: Absolutely! I’m glad you said that. Because my children work in my business.
Terri: Awesome! I love it! Yeah!
Tameka: Yes, my 2 oldest are my camp counselors when I had the summer camps and my youngest, she’s actually part of my demo if you will. She loves the camera so any time I do any type of advertising or anything like that, she’s just ripe and ready for it. So they all work in my business and I love it.
Terri: That’s so perfect. I love it, too. I love, it too. this is awesome. How can the listeners connect with you, get in touch with you? What’s the best way to engage with you?
Tameka: So, for my parents. I have a website and it’s www.parentingconfidentkids.com. And you can get in touch with me right there and all of the information will be there for you.
Terri: I want to compliment you and everyone of my listeners listen to what I’m saying here. Always teach you to have the benefit in your website parentingconfidentkids.com. First of all we can all remember it and second of all it speaks to the result. Parentingconfidentkids.com. Wow! Thank you so much and I really encourage every listener to really care and make a difference using the 3 part formula that you heard today. Engage, empower, expectations. I think it’s so brilliant. It’s so beautiful and again, reach out to Tameka at parentingconfidentkids.com. And Tameka, thank you so much for being here. I learned alot and I feel more empowered just having spoken with you today.
Tameka: That’s so awesome and thank you so much for having me. This has been a blast and I’m really really happy I connected with you.
Terri: Thank you again and to the listeners tune back in each week. You just never know who I’m going to have next.