A lot of women have spent their whole lives focused on serving others either as a wife, a mother, a daughter, or even in their other relationships and career. It’s no wonder that when they’re going over transitions or life shifts, they find themselves at a rock bottom or feeling discouraged and sick of starting over again. Our guest is Sheila MAC, a Lifestyle Reboot Specialist who helps women reboot, get back on their feet, and build a new identity and they reinvent and create their life on their terms this time. Today, she tells us how she got into rebooting women and introduces her book, Bootstraps & Brastraps.
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How To Reboot Your Life with Sheila MAC
I have with me my sister in some world Sheila Mac. She’s going to tell you how to reboot your life. Sheila, welcome.
Sam, it’s great to be on. Thank you for having me. I love this program and all that Terri’s doing. I can’t imagine running a business that’s not heart-centered and that’s how I align with Terri and totally support all the businesses that are in the Heartrepreneur program.
Sheila, you were talking about that you work with women that had different identities, maybe mom, maybe wife, and they may be going through a transition where some of those identities are falling apart and new identities are coming. Tell me about that a little bit.
I’m writing a book and I’ve been consulting for quite a few years. I guide women who are experiencing a life shift. They’ve invested most of their lives in their children, in their relationship or career. They focused on serving others. They’re in a transition where they find themselves at a rock bottom or feeling discouraged and sick of starting over again. I helped these women reboot, get back on their feet and build a new identity, reinventing and creating their life on their terms this time.
How did you get into rebooting women? How did this all come about?
How they say since Heartrepreneur’s a lot of business owners. You have an avatar. You have your perfect client. I looked in the mirror and there she was. I knew all about her and I was like, “I’m tired of going through these reboots alone.” In life, as women, we wear lots of hats, we have different identities, we do different things, sometimes we help everybody else and we don’t ask for help ourselves. It’s so common, or you’re just alone and the fair-weather friends are gone and there you are. It affects every part of your life. If you have a situation and you’re reorganizing your life, it’s going to affect your business, your career, how you parent everything. You don’t have to walk alone through that anymore. That’s why I’ve created a community to help support each other so that we’re no longer alone. In the community, there’s so much freedom and ability to create and design our life the way we want finally.
Sheila, I totally agree with it. Some of the things that I fight on my end with my business is the messages that women are given. Something about being the good girl, being the sacrifice, being the one that puts her needs aside. For some reason, society has taught us that’s a noble person. The altruistic woman is noble. Whereas, these same characteristics in men it’s like get what you deserve and then help people around the way. Do you feel the messages that we’ve gotten as kids have been a little skewed to give us to these points of hitting rock bottom?It tends to be the case that women are the ones that help and nurture all their friends, but they don't nurture themselves. Click To Tweet
I totally believe so. I have six children. They’re all grown. Three are mine, three I fostered. I didn’t want that for any of my children. I would never wish for my children to grow up and sacrifice their essence and their truth for anything or anyone. That helped me in living in my own truth and making those changes for myself with my own reboots in life when I realized, “Who would want that even for your children?” As a parent and just as a woman that’s modeling for people in your life. How I live my life is the message for my children, for my clients, for my friends of who I am. It speaks louder than anything else. It guides them then they start living their truth as young adults in college and beyond and on their own. They embrace that and I’m glad because they could follow along with me doing that other role that many women have done for years. I’m happy they didn’t do that.
When I did my reinvent and hit my rock bottom, what I realized was that I had to keep the piece more important than my integrity. I had to adjust that. The other challenge, and I’m glad you have this community is because there are women out there that will pretty much put another woman down that is not going to take on the traditional roles or says that, “I want to be a partner.” This is not the sole provider of all the house chores, all the kid chores, and making sure everyone gets their homework done. I’ve also seen resistance from other women implying that you’re not fulfilling your familiar roles while trying to pursue a business.
It’s so interesting because I always owned my own businesses starting at 23. I had five gift stores. My little children were with me. They were babies. My smallest store was almost 5,000 square feet. I had these incredible women that were my top saleswomen that had babies also. We hired some nannies and we had this area that was their little section in the rear of the store and the park was across the street. It was ideal because we were able to embrace both worlds and still we got back from the moms that were the stay-at-home moms. There was the envy from the moms that had to work and didn’t have their babies with them. Thank goodness with the way people are thinking and living that you can design your own life and create different ways of doing things. We can work from home. We can have so many different options that perhaps our parents or grandparents didn’t have.
What are some of the things that people do wrong or maybe some of the shortcomings when they hit rock bottom? I have a couple of guesses, but I’m curious to see what you’re going to say. What is typical behavior and what should they do?
A typical behavior that’s common is, people stop taking care of themselves. They’re in survival mode usually because this all happened at one surprise, whatever it is. They stopped the self-care. They are not getting their sleep. They’re not doing the exercise. The wellness is gone. That makes for somebody that’s mind isn’t as clear and focused. You get drawn into all that chaos and you’re just fueling it.
You weaken yourself to where you’re not functioning to handle all the changes. My guess, Sheila, was going to be, I feel like the mistake I’ve seen in entrepreneurs when they hit rock bottom is they quit reaching out. For some reason, they feel like they can do it all themselves and they don’t want to tell people what’s going on or they’re maybe embarrassed by the situation.
That’s true, especially for us women. It tends to be the case that we’re the ones that help and nurture all our friends, but we don’t nurture ourselves. That vulnerability of asking somebody for help or admitting you need help is the last thing we ever want to do, yet it’s the most important thing. Sometimes it’s just somebody to be able to listen to you, get you grounded and refocused, get you on your health or take you out, “Let’s go get some healthy food and take a walk.” Get you out of the focus of whatever’s going on is so important and it makes all the difference.
What was the motivation behind Bootstraps & Brastraps? What was your motivation behind the book?
It has an energy and a life of its own. The name itself, pull yourself up by your bootstraps. I added brastraps. What motivated me was the thing about thinking how nice it would be to be able to guide more people. I guide quite a few clients through different situations in their life. They usually show up and I don’t do a lot of advertising. They’re guided to work with me and it’s a beautiful thing to see the difference in their life. I want it to be able to do that on a larger scale and make it something that they could join the community. They could read the book and it was affordable and accessible to more people. That’s what lines me up with Heartrepreneurs is it’s a very heart-centered book and mission to do what I’m doing with this.
Get the support and the information out to everybody. You have a boot system. What are a couple of the steps in your boot system?
I’ll give you an example of a time in my life that I had to do my own reboot. With that, I had purchased a home November 3rd in Ventura. I finally decorated it. I put all my furniture, all my things in there. My house burned down on December 3rd, 2017 in Ventura. I lost pretty much everything in that house and my investment, we’re still waiting on that with insurance and this and that. I lost all I put into it and got out of the debt. I ended up back at this little prefab house that I had rented out Airbnb and I’m in the smallest unit. I’ve got a few boxes of things I saved and the little cat that I got out of the fire. My friend came over and my cat got eaten by a coyote that week. My son announced that he crushed my car. I was thinking like, “What is this? This is a rock bottom situation.” In order to get out of that, first of all, it’s so subtle. There was some shock and I don’t think I’ve been in a depression in my life, but it was a couple of weeks where I was not very motivated. I caught myself and I had to give the problem the boots and get myself going again.
That’s where I created this program and I thought, “B is for being.” I thought, “Who am I going to be through this?” I didn’t have a lot of people to ask for help because everybody else lost their home and the fires were still burning for three or four weeks after. How am I going to show up? I donated some clothes and I donated things and helped. I got out of my own self-pity, whatever that might be. The moment I started helping people and being who I am blessing started to show up for me. Sometimes they weren’t connected. It is like this universal law. The first O in BOOTS is Orientation. I had to decide, ”It’s not better than it is. It’s not worse than it is, but this is what it is.” How do I get from this difficult situation back into the life that I’ve wanted to design for myself? From there, I had to go on to an order of operation and that’s the next O, Order of Operation. That’s figuring out the steps I need to take to get my life back on its feet and get back to it and be sitting in this little prefab house. I had maybe 350 square feet and a sink. No shower. I had a toilet. It was not a cool situation. Not what I was accustomed to either. I was like, “How did this happen?”
The T is for Thinking. I had to put positive thinking into it as far as what do I want as an outcome. Thinking about it so that I could see in my mind’s eye what I desired and how I wanted to rebuild my life at that point. The last S is Stepping up. I had to take those action steps and do the work. Because you can’t just meditate about it and think it’s going to show up. That’s how the formula came into being. I go into detail and have lots of activities in the book and we go through different scenarios of rock bottom situations that could happen in a person’s life. We address relationships, marriage, divorce, parenting, adult children, parenting parents when we’re doing elder care, death and dying. We go over all kinds of things, career, investments. From that point, I was able to teach an online course for real estate investors. I got invited to work in Beverly Hills. I moved to Beverly Hills. I got a new home. I did all these amazing things. I got some incredible clients that I work with on a regular basis in the area.
It sounds like you did pull yourself up.The vulnerability of asking somebody for help or admitting we need help is the last thing we want to do, yet it's the most important thing. Click To Tweet
If you told me that that first week when I was sitting in this little teeny tiny room up in the cabin in the hills, I wouldn’t have believed any of it. It was like, “How am I going to do this?” It felt so impossible and yet following these steps got me there so fast.
Sheila, this has been amazing. How do our readers find you?
Go to www.BootStrapsBook.com. In there only for our Heartrepreneur readers, I will be giving you a free review copy of the book and there will be some other prizes.
We have been with Sheila Mac. Go to BootStrapsBook.com. Get your copy of her book and her generous gift and figure out how to pick yourself up out from rock bottom. This is Sam Mak. I’m your guest host here at Heartrepreneur Radio. Find out more about me, Diversity to Dollars, at www.SpeakerAuthorMotivator.com. Be sure to follow us at Facebook at #Heartrepreneurs with Terri Levine. Like our show so you get notifications of what’s up next.
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About Sheila Mac
Sheila Mac is the author of “Bootstraps & Brastraps, “The Formula to go from Rock Bottom, Back into Action in Any Situation.” Sheila’s latest book is for women who have invested their life into a relationship, into their children, into a career and are now ready for a beautiful life shift. Finding themselves going through a life change and feeling a bit directionless. Her book is for women who feel like they have shown up over and over AND OVER for the people in their life and now they need someone to show up for them. Sheila shows up for them in this book and the community she has created.
She is the parent of 6 beautiful children with a passion for helping women succeed. For over 25 years Sheila has been a leader at helping people to BREAKTHROUGH and take their lives to another level through solid lifestyle coaching, and accountability programs.
Along with speaking, on-line courses and individual coaching; Sheila has also been a property investor and real estate team leader. Through her team Sheila is still intuitively helping her clients invest in properties, to fuel their dreams. Her real estate team is at Keller Williams, Beverly Hills. She believes that no matter how successful they already are – in the areas that matter most: their business, personal finance, intimate relationships, families, careers and health are all affected by the investments they make or do not make.